DANDO PEE-PEE

Another night on the town. Another Dando Penguin crane kick. This one and about four others showed up via 4am text message over the weekend. I shoulda never gave this dude my phone number. The sequential vibrating sounds for every inbound message that night is only rivaled by something I once saw at a bachelor party. But that story is for another time and place.

Dando put this hydrant on notice with a crane kick that would make your pooch want to go outside for a walk. Thanks for the leg lift. Next time wait until the morning to pass along.

DON'T DRINK THE WATER

This crane kick comes to you from CKC fan Big Mike, who hails from the Midwest. Mike took his family down to Mexico for a little vacation, and before the Spring breakers had the chance to soil the sand with vomit and hair gel and Phtirius pubis (look it up), he got the party started early. Miguel said he "couldn't resist" sending us a few craners, and can you blame him? Cancun and crane kicks go together like tequila and fighting. Not that we condone fighting. But we do condone tequila. Sometimes you have to chance it.

We appreciate Mike bringing the crane kick back home to the beach. Hopefully this wasn't followed by a bout of Montezuma's revenge. That would totally be no bueno.

CLOSING CEREMONIES

The 2010 Vancouver Olympics came to a close late Sunday evening, but not before Sidney Crosby went from future legend to current messiah with an overtime goal to win the gold for the host country. I swear that guy signed his soul over to the devil. Something will come out about this dude... no one can be this blessed. I bet he steals his neighbors' newspaper.

Speaking of winning the big one, you can add another to the USA medal count thanks to our pal Brad from The Heckler. Brad took gold in craning. I don't see any Canadians or Germans or Norwegians trying to even approach the podium with this kind of athleticism. Maybe if you guys concentrated less on sleds and brooms and more on self defense, you might be able to throw your hat in the ring.

Hey Crosby - Up yours. We've got Brad. You got craned. See you in Sochi.

OFFICE PARTY

Here's the email chain on this one:

On Feb 13, 2010 at 10:06 AM - Jojo wrote: Here you go Nicky.

Crane Kick wrote: Holy fucking shit. Who is this guy and where did this come from????

Jojo: It's a guy that works at one of my clients, he always talks about taking krav maga and some other ninja classes, so I said "Hey Brian, how is your crane kick?"

Crane Kick: Hahaha he also has a star wars doll on his desk.

Jojo: Yeah man, thats why I thought he was bullshitting me. I aint fucking with this guy no more.

Crane Kick: I want to be friends with him.

Jojo: He will kick me in the teeth and then light saber me.

Crane Kick: He is like the star wars kid adult version.

Jojo: Yeah. I like the streamers too on the left. Makes it a party scene.

Crane Kick: Ahahahah I didnt even notice those.

LEX LUTHOR

Old man Ray arrived in the inbox with a short statement describing his love for the crane kick. He apparently also loves tapered jeans and Jerry Seinfeld's sense of style. Apparel and sweet-ass mustache aside, there are two reasons this Gene Hackman look-alike showed up on this night: to drink some beers and drop a Creature from the Black Lagoon craner in the middle of the bar.

Mission: Accomplished.

Do you know why the number two hundred is so vitally descriptive to both you and me? It's your weight and my I.Q. - Lex Luthor, Superman, 1978

CATHEDRAL OF COLLEGE BASKETBALL

That's our homey Estebomb. He was lucky enough to catch some Big 5 hoops action at the storied Palestra over the weekend, and brought his crane kick along to help guide the Temple Owls over the St. Joe's Hawks. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but know that the Hawks took the favored Owls into overtime on this day, only to be foiled by some poor shooting and a craning from the upper deck.

The Palestra hosted its first basketball game in 1927 and has been the scene of some of the finest battles in college hoops history, however none including the type of athleticism you see above. Take a bow, Estebomb, you craned a legend.

LICENSE TO DRIVE

Heehee....this is friggin awesome:

I was transferring my LPs and 45s to mp3's and happened to turn over the sleeve of Billy Ocean's 1988 single, Get Outta My Car, Get Into My Life.

-- Suzanne From Seattle

Where to begin? Seriously? Where? Our first crush on Heather Graham to the tune of this song? The fact that we both wanted to be the two Coreys growing up? The fact that everytime I hear Caribbean Queen I break out into the cabbage patch? I've said too much.

Thanks to you, Suzanne from Supersonicland, for being a CKC fan and for not unloading this vinyl gem at a yard sale for a dollar. It's worth much more in our hearts.