WE ARE - PENN STATE

Amidst a whiteout at Beaver Stadium, Crane Kick Chronicles is proud to present our first fight. This isn't a show people, this is the real deal. Apparently old Herky the Hawk thought suspect of the Nittany Lion and challenged him to a duel in his own den. Not too wise Herkoff...not wise at all.

You'll notice Herky's stance oozes of panic. And rightfully so, as there is no defense for what is about to occur. As you'd expect, this was a one sided affair. Unfortunetly for the PSU faithful, Herky's team had the last laugh on this day, as the Hawkeyes roared back to upset the Nittany Lions for the second straight season.

Something tells me when these two teams square off again, JoePa will have a new weapon up his sleeve for vengeance. And that weapon will be the crane formation.

Special thanks to our friends over at http://www.nittanynation.org/ for the heads up. To see the full video of this crane kick butt whooping - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd3QFjaiCWs

HUNGRY?

While y'all had the drunken munchies at 11am, my man The Riddler showed up at your tailgate and craned the shit out of your spread. We here at CKC know allllll too well the dangers of loading up your belly with booze without first laying a nice foundation of carb heavy foods - blackouts are a bitch. But you guys let your guards down and got craned bad. Ya gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Whaddaya got over there anyhow? Buffalo wings? Bratwurst? Deviled eggs? Whatever it is, I see a pack of hot ladies about to indulge on some of the finest tailgate grub in town. 10-to-1 says there's a taco dip in there.

SHE'LL CUT YOU MANG

Ahhh, the sites and sounds of Montmartre church in Paris, France. Where else will you find this silver fox lurking around. A little background for all you history buffs: the church is the location where the vows were taken that led to the founding of the Jesuits. Founded by Saint Denis in the 3rd century, the front steps of this church is now home to hippies and derelicts singing kareoke tunes for some extra coin. Just what ole Denny had in mind when he built the joint we're sure. Believe it or not fellas, this gal is single and ready to mingle. Just beware, CKC is pretty sure the carpet matches the silver drapes.

MICHAEL JACK

Another sweet entry from the Citizens Bank Park faithful. Crane Kick Chronicles superfan Sara and her pal had all-access passes on this summer night, and despite getting starry eyed over the likes of Ryan Madson and Scott Eyre and Chan Ho Park, they didn't let a few celebrity run-ins get in the way of an epic double craner.

The girls showed off their finest reds and stepped to the plate to pay tribute to the greatest Phillie of all time, Michael Jack Schmidt. Touch 'em all ladies, you just craned the statue of a legend.

BANANA GUN

WHO SHOT YA? Banana gun gotcha. That's who. Too be honest, I'm not gonna try to get all wax ecstatic and fill in the blanks with a funny diatribe. This here what you see is well, what you get. A youngin on the left who hates her new shirt. A stickemup kid with a banana gun showing y'all who's the boss. A blue shirt bandit in the background trying to make peace of the whole situation. And the crane kicker saying "Yo...I'm here....everybody be cool, baby..."

Other than that, I got nothin'. 'Cept your t-shirt on the table looks like a pizza I wanna eat.

THE LEVELS OF COOL

There's cool. There's cooler. And then there's Cooley. First, the man gives us Fred Smoot in action. Now, Tanner Cooley follows up with his very own masterpiece, a Venice Beach craner from atop a beach post that would make Daniel Larusso wish his mom moved here instead of that dump Reseda.

Now, we've heard there are some pretty fancy street performers that roam those parts, Tanner. But we can guarantee that if any of them saw this display, they've already packed up their hippy sacks and headed north to play the bongo's somewhere in Seattle, cause this crane kick is the only show in town worth forking over your hard earned bucks for.

For more of Tanner's finest, swing on by twitter.com/tannercooley or http://chriscooley47.blogspot.com/.

Thanks again for making our day. As a small token of thanks, you've just been elected to the Hall of Cranes.

BLURRY FREGOSI

See that tiny guy on the mound? That's Cliff Lee. That's our pal Joey O in the red WFC shirt. And that's former Phillies manager Jim Fregosi to his left (your right, dummy) with the blurry face that looks tiled out like those people on COPS who won't sign the release. This is ultimately disappointing, as we had Fregosi lined up to get craned as the final out occurred. Unfortunetly, he made a run for it after the second out, and I had to back pedal up steps to get this hazy mess. Ah well, it deserved a post anyways if for nothing else but the sweet backdrop and the fact that Fregosi had not one but TWO packs of smokes in his pants pockets. Don't ask. He did.

Light one up Jimbo, you deserve it after that drive-by craning.

MASTER OF PUPPETS

Bon jour from France. Who knew that the French were such big fans of one of the biggest metal bands of all time? Good times were had at James Hetfeelds Pub on this nite, except they spelled his name wrong but we'll look past that. Check the killer metal guitar on the awning, its gotta be the same dude. This dude needs to get slapped with a face melting guitar riff to wipe off that not so metal smirk. Wee Wee.

K TO THE B

The NFL season kicked off with a bang this past weekend, and our pal KB kicked back with a show-stopping craner all while repping her favorite QB. We're sure a few cold ones were flowing on this opening day, and hey, a crane kick usually shows up at some point between shotgunning a few bevos and singing "Sweet Caroline" at the top of your lungs. We just have one request - can you make this the entrance every time you enter a place for the first time? Just a "Hey everybody, what's up?" while striking a crane - guaranteed you will leave a lasting impression, and everyone you meet will be a better person from it.

To stay in tune with the daily adventures of this little lady, visit her blog on over @ http://kbtoyswith.wordpress.com/

CLEATUS

I knew I saw this on TV during the Eagles game today. It looked glorious in HD. Lucky for us, one of our biggest fans was able to snag a screen shot and send it in. Excellent work, your efforts will not soon be forgotten.

Apparently someone over at the FOX Network is a huge CKC fan, and during the Eagles destruction of the Carolina Panthers, they decided to toss some icing on the cake and break out Cleatus the Robot pulling of a TV craner coming back from a commercial. This is no coincidence people, this is definitely somebody trying to help us take crane kicks to the next level.

Thanks for the shout out, whoever you are. You are an instant Hall of Cranes addition.

THE CONVENIENCE CRANER

If you have never been to or heard of Wawa, we here at CKC pity you. They are only the most convenient of convenience stores in all the land. And our friend here knows them all too well. We think the intense expression on his face and the gymnast-like balancing act on the hood of that wagon says it all. If its the simple things in life you need like milk and eggs or the luxuries like a stuffed pretzel or delicious meatball classic, you will find all your shopping needs at the Wa. Thanks for the post my man, now get inside and get your grub on. And grab us a turkey sambo and large peach iced tea, Wawa style. We'll pay you back later.

THE SCARECROW

You have got to love people who refuse to let a little rain ruin their vacation down in the Outer Banks. You can add the crane kick to the likes of UNO and Memory and whatever the hell else is in the top shelf of that hallway closet as things to do at the beach when the weather takes a turn for the worst. All it took was a little trip to the Dollar Tree for some oversized shades, a poncho and a straw hat - The Scarecrow was ready to strike a pose. Thanks for bringing us on your vacation.

I could while away the hours, Conferrin' with the flowers, Consultin' with the rain. And my head I'd be scratchin' While my thoughts were busy hatchin' If I only did a crane!