MERRY CHRISTMAS

From our family - even those who get drunk with Santa - to yours, have a safe and Merry Christmas. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, don't blame us that you didn't get a holiday shoutout CKC style. No one craned a menorah or put on a Kufi and sent in a pic. Blame yourself.

Merry Christmas to all our fans out there. Without you, none of this would be possible.

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

With all of the snow that hit the Northeast this weekend, we expected a bunch of sweet winter wonderland craners to be heading inbound. Now, I'm not going to jump the gun and be all disappointed on the lack of submittals - I know they're coming....you guys are still just thawing out. Get some Swiss Miss and call it a night.

Allow the Dando Penguin to show you how it's done. I dunno where he is. I dunno who he's with. But I know he's got a leg up on the competition. Pun intended. We love you Dando. Way to rep.

JUST A GOOD OLE' BOY

Ever wonder what those wacky Duke boys motor around in on lazy Sunday's when they aren't tryin' to outrun Boss Hog and his gang? We have, and now we know they roll in the General Jeep. Epic. From the looks of that fire extinguisher in the back it appears as though our friends are getting a little more safety concious in their old age...pretty weak fellas, pretty weak. We can't help but wonder, and hope, that at least the doors on this monster still don't open and they get in and out through the windows. We can't picture Luke fumbling for the keys to unlock the door or Bo giving his cousin a hand to get in. Sorry folks, we shouldn't even be talking about such nonsense. And who woulda thunk it, they shop at CVS. Pretty badass. Thanks for puttin' your neck on the line and snappin' this amazing craner buddy, but next time leave the sandals at the beach in case you gotta make a quick getaway on foot. One final question, where the heck is Daisy??? (eyes closed) Oh, there she is.

GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

New York Giants fans are so silly aren't they? After a 5-0 start this season they thought their squad had it all but wrapped up. Ooops, here come the Eagles again. No doubt this character was talking about Kevin Boss this, and bro that while munchin' on his pastrami and rye. Little did he know there was a sneak craning goin on behind him, sponsored by Miller Lite, the official beer of CKC. These football Giants are smelling as bad as that Limburger cheese on your sambo. Hey Boss Man, YOU GOT CRANED!

MARATHON MAN

This gentleman was making the rounds at the Army/Navy tailgate looking to raise some cash for "Team In Training", which is the world's first and largest charity sports training program in which people run a marathon all while raising money and awareness for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Great cause, sure. We are all for charity. But you're not going to get our hard earned cash without a craner.

He was in it to win it and threw up his wings faster than you can say 26.2 miles. He says he runs marathons. I believe him yo, I don't know why, but I do.

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDYMAN

Hey everyone, check out CKC Handyman Services. Little does this guy know he is now associated with one of the most amazing phenomenons this good land has ever seen, which should be pretty good for business. And for those of you who can't read the small print, it says 'No Job Too Small.' That's what she said.


Jack Handy quote of the day: “Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't see it and go, "Okay, is everybody ready to start now?".”

THE GREY LION

These two kindred spirits tied one on over the weekend and amidst the Christmas lights and stench of stale beer delivered a hug-worthy craning. This shot is especially heartwarming, as you can feel the bond between these fellas jumping right off the computer screen. It's almost as if the gentleman on the right sees a little bit of himself in the younger lad on the left.

Surely after a few cold ones, The Grey Lion turned to his counterpart and rambled off something along the lines of "You know, when I was your age, we used to crane kick uphill in three feet of snow. Naked. You kids have it so easy these days."

We feel your pain, sir. Surely back in the day it was tough for craners. But find happiness in the present, and continue lifting a leg wherever you please. And keep your beltless pants on.

HI-YAH!

Our boy Sensei Mike of Team Amerikick (he's a 3rd degree Black Belt...just sayin, we know people) recently introduced his students to the art of the crane kick, and it looks like he has a group of quick learners on his hands, because the effort here is flawless. Like any good instructor, Sensei Mike teaches that martial arts are for defense only, and now that these guys know the crane kick, their greatest defense lies in a simple yet dangerous pose. Look at that dude in the front....he knows what he's doing. Well done boys.

A PRETTY NICE LITTLE SATURDAY

Do you like knicknacks? Especially ones made by weird old people who stare you down into submission until you purchase something from them? If you do, we suggest hittin' up a dope craft show on sayyyyy an early Satuday morning. Cause that's exactly what this guy did. Let's set the scene here: Saturday morning roughly 9am, a church auditorium, in November, down the Jersey shore (no, not the guido, fist-pump shore that is incorrectly portrayed on the tele, although those guys are heeeeelarious). So you can imagine the array of sloths you would see at this place. Moving on, let's just say the crafts were average at best (bought a bunch of them), 80 year old ladies were throwing forearm shivers (I am still bruised up), and the $1 hot dogs weren't worth a nickle (I ate 4). Aside from the all nonsense, the crane kicking scene was kept alive and it turned out to be a damn good time. Oh, forgot to mention that I was bribed with a trip to the video arcade in order to get me here so I can hang on to my man card, right?


P.S. got the high score on skee-ball one hour later.

HEY BERT

The childhood memories are rushing back to us with this flamboyant craner thanks to our old pal Bert. Who could forget the fruit stripe sweater and unibrow that was combed ever so messy and that yellow skin that still makes us wanna peel a banana to this day. And don't forget about his gay (we mean happy folks, relax!) 'roommate' Ernie and their crazy antics together. Pheww, what a duo they were. Hey Bert, where is Ernie anyhow? Shootin' up in the bathroom again? You crazy kids. Regardless, great work and thanks for thinkin' of us, next time get rubber ducky in the shot.

Postscript: For all you gangsta rappers, check out this steeze.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc

THE BURBS

Fresh from the New Moon premier, here's a threepack of friends on a chilly afternoon crane kicking a sign for B.J. Supply Company, and going by the little lady's expression on the far right, you can be sure that there's a joke in there.

Wait a minute...where the hell is the "L"??????

Suppy? Nothing much, suppy with you?

I don't care if Suppy means Supply in some sort of bizzaro world like the 1950's, in today's society we use L's. Way to hire drunk painter on the cheap, BJ.

SPAIN KICK CHRONICLES

She gives advice on Fantasy Football. She knows more about sports and beer than your dad. She sang a song about F'ing Steve Bartman. She's hot. And smart. And hot.

And now, she can add crane kicking to a resume that is already filled up like a clown car. Say hello to Sarah Spain, folks. The gal can do it all and she's one of CKC's favs.

Spain invaded Hawaii recently and she promised she would bring home a crane kick. So on a little trek through some volcanic rock, Spainy got craney - Haole style. Yet another craner that is as impressive for its form as it is for its scenary. And look at that smile, if that doesn't show you the kind of fun a crane kick can bring to an outdoor adventure, then you need to get out of your momma's basement. Won't ya smile a while for me?

Keep up with Sarah over at her blog No Spain, No Gain or over at sarahspain.net.

Editor's note: A Haole is what Hawaiian's refer to mainlanders as. I own the movie North Shore. Rick Kane was so haole he didn't even know he was haole.