OFFICE PARTY

Here's the email chain on this one:

On Feb 13, 2010 at 10:06 AM - Jojo wrote: Here you go Nicky.

Crane Kick wrote: Holy fucking shit. Who is this guy and where did this come from????

Jojo: It's a guy that works at one of my clients, he always talks about taking krav maga and some other ninja classes, so I said "Hey Brian, how is your crane kick?"

Crane Kick: Hahaha he also has a star wars doll on his desk.

Jojo: Yeah man, thats why I thought he was bullshitting me. I aint fucking with this guy no more.

Crane Kick: I want to be friends with him.

Jojo: He will kick me in the teeth and then light saber me.

Crane Kick: He is like the star wars kid adult version.

Jojo: Yeah. I like the streamers too on the left. Makes it a party scene.

Crane Kick: Ahahahah I didnt even notice those.

LEX LUTHOR

Old man Ray arrived in the inbox with a short statement describing his love for the crane kick. He apparently also loves tapered jeans and Jerry Seinfeld's sense of style. Apparel and sweet-ass mustache aside, there are two reasons this Gene Hackman look-alike showed up on this night: to drink some beers and drop a Creature from the Black Lagoon craner in the middle of the bar.

Mission: Accomplished.

Do you know why the number two hundred is so vitally descriptive to both you and me? It's your weight and my I.Q. - Lex Luthor, Superman, 1978

CATHEDRAL OF COLLEGE BASKETBALL

That's our homey Estebomb. He was lucky enough to catch some Big 5 hoops action at the storied Palestra over the weekend, and brought his crane kick along to help guide the Temple Owls over the St. Joe's Hawks. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but know that the Hawks took the favored Owls into overtime on this day, only to be foiled by some poor shooting and a craning from the upper deck.

The Palestra hosted its first basketball game in 1927 and has been the scene of some of the finest battles in college hoops history, however none including the type of athleticism you see above. Take a bow, Estebomb, you craned a legend.

LICENSE TO DRIVE

Heehee....this is friggin awesome:

I was transferring my LPs and 45s to mp3's and happened to turn over the sleeve of Billy Ocean's 1988 single, Get Outta My Car, Get Into My Life.

-- Suzanne From Seattle

Where to begin? Seriously? Where? Our first crush on Heather Graham to the tune of this song? The fact that we both wanted to be the two Coreys growing up? The fact that everytime I hear Caribbean Queen I break out into the cabbage patch? I've said too much.

Thanks to you, Suzanne from Supersonicland, for being a CKC fan and for not unloading this vinyl gem at a yard sale for a dollar. It's worth much more in our hearts.

SKI SCHOOL

Would ya get a load of this. We are tearing up over here just looking at this majestic scene. Here we are in Park City, Utah with two of our ski friends who could very well be training for the Downhill in Sochi, 2014. That's in Russia people, invest in a globe for cryin out loud. This is definitely one of our most daring craners to date. No chance you'd see CKC postin' up on the side of a mountain like this, ballsy bro, ballsy. Especially with your friend gaining ground right behind you, check out that form. She wants her 2 dollars Lane Meyer!* And those trees! Those GD happy trees! Bob Ross is smiling from above at this work of art.** Between the form our friends are displaying and the scenery that couldn't be painted any better, this craner really strikes a chord with us. And what better timing with all of the snow hitting the country and the Olympics taking place. U-S-A, U-S-A!! Our only gripe...we know you were there during Sundance, so where the heck is our Saget craner. We love Full House.

* 'Better off Dead'--watch it, love it
** If you haven't seen a Bob Ross episode you're not human. Check this out.
http://www.bobross.com/

Here's one of our fav Rossisms... 'In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when I get home, the only thing I have power over, is the garbage' So true.

RE: SINGLE MOM DISCIPLINE

Just go ahead and read below...

Hello!

The whole single mom thing isn’t easy when it comes to a 13yo boy. After realizing Ike wasn’t necessarily responding to my meager and boring attempts at conversation, communication and plaintive requests, I realized that the crane kick pose was the perfect answer. What 13 yo boy wouldn’t understand that his mother means business, when she gets ready to crane kick his butt? Here, I’m asking Ike to help clean the kitchen and he lovingly helped with no argument! Thanks Crane Kick Chronicles for giving me what all the parenting books had left out.

Yep, we did it again. Parenting tools brought to you by the crane kick. Look at that kid's face... I bet you could eat soup off of that kitchen table after he got done cleaning it on this night. This isn't a joke people. This is real life.

SNOWPOCALYPSE-MAGEDDON

This lovely craner came along with the following:

I was at home suffering from cabin fever, a photography addiction, adult ADHD; and possibly feeling a bit empathetic towards special 'Twitter friend' that mentioned he had to go into work the next morning (despite the unrelenting Blizzard warnings we received throughout the Tri-State Area.)

Around 7pm, I threw on a few layers of clothing, boots, gloves, and a skull cap...Grabbed my camera & gear (including my tripod)...And here is what happened:

CRANE KICK!

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Lindsay
Philadelphia, PA

Enjoyed it? Understatement of the year Lindsaylou....loved it is more apropos. Even if your neighbors think you're crazy now, totally worth it. This is a great addition to your already impressive portfolio. Where can you see this portfolio, you ask? HERE.

COMMANDER CODY

We've had a few dogs grace the pages of Crane Kick Chronicles over time, but they've either been the victim of a craning, or in the background of a photo watching someone get craned. Never have we had a dog, or an animal at all for that matter, as the actual craner. That all changed with Cody.

Fresh off making some yellow snow and tricking the neighborhood kids into thinking there was a wolf cub on the loose, Cody was introduced to the crane kick. Since he's still young, Cody needed a spotter... but once he was up in action, The Commander was born. He even threw in a little snarl for good measure. Good dog.

Cody is an Alaskan Malamute pup that belongs to our pal Kevin Owens, who is a professional basketball player and the man responsible for the blog Waiting to Godunk.

SNOW BUNNY

On February 6th, 2010, the skies opened up and dropped 30 inches of snow on the Philadelphia area. Some people baked cookies. Some (us) got drunk and did snow angels in nothing but thermal underwear. Others took to the streets in search of a snowball fight.

The lady you see above is Sarah Baicker. Despite a full days effort of instigating with innocent bystanders and local news cast cameos, she could not find a dance partner to fling some packed powder with. She was sad.

But then ole Baicks remembered that a crane kick in the snow was not only more fun then getting hit in the face with ice, it also made for a pretty portrait. Once she managed to get her right foot out of all that snow, she was happy again. Those are the eyes of a smiling face, to be sure.

When not doing crane kicks in the snow, Sarah is a hockey writer and full time Twitter flirt. See for yourself @sbaicker.

THAT GIRL

There was a nice treat waiting in the CKC inbox the other day. The lovely and extraordinarily talented Esthero stumbled upon the Crane Kick Chronicles and was kind enough to share some rather flattering words (she said we were fantastic). She also gave us a heads up on a sweet ass space suit craner from her video for the song That Girl - check out the 2:45 mark to see her in action.

Now, if you don't know who Esthero is, you need to step your game up. Here are a few quick bullet points to help you get with the times:

• She is Canadian
• She has red hair
• She is your favorite singer's favorite singer
• If you play her song Superheroes when you have a date over, you will get some booty
• She sang on a Black Eyed Peas track and was def better than Fergie
• She does crane kicks

No need to really keep going, is there? Exactly. She rules.

OATMEAL!

Matthew Inman is kind of a genius. Among other things, he runs the show over at The Oatmeal. If you haven't visited that website yet, do yourself a favor and go check it out. It's awesome.

I sent Matthew a message on Twitter asking him to draw a crane kick for me to post on Crane Kick Chronicles. Matthew did me one better and sent over a panel from an unreleased comic in his book. After taking a look at said crane kick above, I bought his book. It's only ten dollars. Take a day off from Starbucks, go right here and pick that thing up. And if you want, take a picture of yourself crane kicking it and it will get posted.

CKC would like to thank Matthew for our first comic craner with an induction into the Hall of Cranes. If Seattle wasn't so far, we'd high five you. Then crane kick the Space Needle.

JAMAICRANE

It's a pretty site, isn't it? All those different shades of blue with a smattering of green and crane kick by a bikini-clad sweetie smack dab in the middle. Those Corona commercials can go to hell. This is what vacation is all about.

That lady in the pool must have gotten a little too red from the Lambsbread, because there's no way she'd purposely turn her back on a vision like this. Pass the Dutchie, ma'am, there's a craner on the horizon.